Do people smokemore dduring the festivities? Apparently they do.So it's back behind the counter, and it feels good to see people and talk with them and all that.
And of course this allowed me to meet (dramatic music) The New Girl.
"You'll love The New Girl," my girlfriend said.
My girlfriend hired The New Girl as part-time help back in September, when I was out of order and she needed a hand in the shop.
Now she'll help us during the festive season (she's the reason why I can do four days instead of six) and to the end of January.
The New Girl is 22, blonde and pretty, a little on the plump side but in a nice way.
She's a hard-worker and a heavy smoker.
She is also absolutely horrible, in a way that left me open-mouthed.
You see, The New Girl is vocally, unashamedly homophobic. She thinks gay couples (like, say, the two women she is working for) are undermining traditional values and ultimately planning the downfall of Western Civilization.
And I really mean PLANNING, because in her opinion the reason why we go lesbian on each other is ONLY because we want to destroy our traditional society out of "hatred for our lifestyle".
What the fuck?!
Being into girls?
Actually liking having sex with another woman?
Actually loving her?
That's unimportant.
We want the Western Civilization to crumble, so we go to bed together. It's a dirty work, but somebody gotta do it.
It's not a matter of faith, of some strange but understandable idea of "decency".
It's political.
By any other means, The New Girl is, generally speaking, "a nice young woman".
She is not particularly religious nor particularly sensitive to big political issues. She's not even overly eager to marry and have children and build what she calls "a normal family".
It's not even that she needs to get out more.
She's just incredibly angry and afraid, because she's been told she has to be.
Thankfully, the situation does not get overly embarassing. I mean, it's not like we are always at it in the shop, this is the real world, not a porn movie (sigh), so we are not giving The New Girl many opportunities to lecture us, but ... it's weird.
Beingo constantly under observation by a person that considers you a monster.
My girlfriend says we should see this as an opportunity to show The New Girl we are not monsters.
But my girlfriend's a saint, the sort that rescues kittens.
I've got a pair of handcuffs and a gag-ball with her name on 'em right here, and all that.
I mean, it's pretty normal, as a fantasy. Not even original.
I might write a story about it.
But here in real life, The New Girl is a very intriguing and frustrating research subject.
In the interest of science, I'll post here my observations.
>we want to destroy our traditional society out of "hatred for our lifestyle"
ReplyDeleteI don't get the logic here. She believes that gay couples aren't really gay and are in fact heterosexual, but they force themselves to behave as if they were gay because they hate the heterosexual lifestyle?
Something tells me The New Girl is a closet homosexual and she's afraid of her tendencies because she believes being gay undermines those family values she holds dear...
Yes, Eugene, that was my thought too. I think she might actually feel a frisson for Western Civilization being undermined because then she can go along her coming out not being her fault, something those wanting but not wanting their sexuality might welcome. 'The lady does protest too much' in my view. If she was so anti-gay she would presumably have stormed out by now demanding pay instead of notice or threaten you with a suit for being against her religious views. By proving you are a couple actually contributing to the wealth of the country, you might win her over. One person I follow has an employer who has permitted mistletoe as long as it is unprejudiced, i.e. you have to kiss a person of the same sex if you encounter them under it. Maybe a couple of nice kisses will help her on her way. Otherwise, surely you have the perfect scenario for a new book right in front of you.
Delete