But let's keep doing it!
Here's a little snippet I wrote this morning... enjoy!
“We were talking about the new neighbors,” Lynne said smugly.
Tara laughed. “Yeah, I could see that.”
She pulled one of the kitchen chairs and sat down, stretching her legs. She caught Carla’s glance.
“I’ve met the neighbor’s daughter,” Tara said. She shook her cigarette box and pulled one out with her lips. “She’s trouble.”
Carla leaned closer to light her up.
“Trouble? How?” Lynne asked.
Tara took a long luxuriant drag and closed her eyes.
“Two days in, and she got her ass hauled to the Principal’s.” She exhaled and winked at Carla. “Nice ass by the way. She’s fit, muscular. I’d love were she to get on the volley team.”
“I bet you would,” Carla chuckled.
Lynne crossed her arms over her chest. “Why was she sent to Miss Olson’s office?”
She chuckled, took another drag. Her white knee-length socks swished as she rubbed her calves together. “And her kilt hung so low on her hips, you could see the straps of her thong.”
She arched her back, and exhaled another plume of smoke towards the ceiling. “Black lipstick, thick makeup. Subtle, she is not.”
“Was she—” Carla wet her lips, “disciplined?”
Lynne scoffed and shook her head.
“Three days of suspension,” Tara said.
“I can see why Stella’s so worried,” Lynne said, serious.
Carla glanced at her.
“What?” Lynne asked.
The other woman chuckled, but said nothing.
“And then of course,” Tara went on, “Mariah says she’s doing drugs. Penny, I mean.”
Carla’s eyes sparkled. “What sort of drugs?”
Tara just shrugged and squashed the butt of her cigarette.
“Mariah is a goody two shoes,” Lynne said dismissively.
“Of course she is!” Tara laughed, standing. “But I am a goody two shoes too. That’s why we are friends.”
She stretched, lifting her arms over her head. The fabric of her blouse pulled tight against the soft mounds of her teenage breasts.
“Anyways,” she said, starting towards the door, “I’m going to change and get a shower.”
She paused as she passed Carla and leaned close to her. “Would you like to join me?” she stage-whispered. “I need someone to give me a good rub. To my back, I mean.”
Carla drew a deep breath. Lynne came over and patted her daughter on her ass. “What a tease!” she said affectionately. “On your way now, go.”
Tara winked again at Carla, and sauntered out of the kitchen.
Lynne put her arm around Carla’s waist and pulled her closer. “Where were we?” she whispered, her red lips brushing the other woman’s earlobe.
“I think I need a good rub, too,” Carla answered back, grinning.
fun. But I am thinking. There needs to be scenes of loving relationship. Passion, of course, intense emotion, sex that is scalding hot between Lynne and her husband and between Carla and her hubby. But also intimacy,loving each other's company. Sharing intimate, quiet moments. Going to a special place for dinner. Talking about their dreams, their hopes, their plans together for themselves and their children and not just sex. And they need to face face real problems together,like financial ones. Finally, commitment. Being there for each other thru it. Some tough times, or just little inconveniences that they make easier for each other.
ReplyDeleteFinally, I do have an idea for making Lynne even more corrupt than she already is. She assumes the persona of a dominatrix. She's always wanted to do it, but didn't have the courage. This would be a side business. Her husband would help set it up. And she would start with Stella! Just to practice.
>She's always wanted to do it, but didn't have the courage.
ReplyDeleteThat would probably take away from the impact Lynne's character makes - showing her insecurities, I mean.
I think the story needs the characters to go through some sort of experience to show what you want to see. There needs to be some crisis where the characters drift apart, but then realize that the only way to be happy is to talk to each other (or something of the sort).