The 28 Days Later movie, I mean.
Running zombies that are not zombies and all that.
I did not like it.
But damn, it's been a month!
And I had said I'd post more frequently!
So, here is what happened.
I got locked out from Gmail and related services, but that was not a big deal really, because I did not feel like posting anyway.
The reason: you might remember I had sent a short novel (a novella, I should call it) answering to a publisher's open call.
Well, I got a pink slip or what they are called. A "thank you but no thank you" note.
I would havenever imagined it would hit me so hard.
I totally crumbled.
Why bother and all that.
Stupid, I know, but what the hell, it's my unhappiness and I'll deal with it the way I think better.
Even if it's a stupid morose way.
But now I'm out of it.
What helped was actually helpinga friend start writing her own erotica, setting up her alias and all the rest. It was a good way to keep my mind off my writing, because it was pretty obvious I had burned out completely where writing was concerned.
So I recycled myself as a mentor, playing the role of Miss Know-It-All.
And now that my pupil is ready to go solo, I plan to start posting regularly again, and find my pace and my rhythm again, and finally start having fun writing again.
Trying to make a job of it was wrong. Took the fun out of it.
And you guys? Are you still out there?
What did I miss while I was away?
If the novel you sent to the publisher is anything like your normal novels then you shouldn't feel bad about them not accepting your novel. Your quality of writing is pretty high, I think, and the only reasons not to accept are either the niche you're addressing is too small for the publisher to bother (or that is how the publisher perceives it) or the publisher doesn't work in that market niche (you can't recommend an explicit porn story to a Twilight audience and expect it to enjoy it). So don't feel bad about the publisher not accepting your stories: your readers do, and that is what matters in the end.
ReplyDeleteWe're still here, Tamara! Some of us also struggle with anxiety and the procrastination and lack of motivation that it can cause. There is no cure, we just learn to recognize the symptoms, and come up with our own selective set of remedies. For me, the best remedy is action, but I usually only realize that after a week (or two, or three..) of almost paralytic dodging of life. Don't beat yourself up, know that you are loved (by people who don't even really know you! Imagine how much you're loved by those who do), and do your best. We're with you!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMy 2 cents and it may sound harsh but post of your posts sound like your heart isn't in it anymore possibly because your writing career hasn't went the way you were expecting everybody has ambition and you were trying to expand your horizons and it just hasn't quite worked
ReplyDeleteI wonder if it wouldn't be the worse idea in the world to re-pack some of your old blog stories and post them on somewhere like Literotica maybe get some news fans and some positive reinforcement or you could just give up the choice is yours and no-one would hold it against you and you haven't posted a story in months
You are certainly a talented writer and I'm not saying that to massage your ego, So I think sometime soon you have to corrupt some Nuns for us