I've been working on my fiction ever since I lost everything with my PC, and I can't finish them. Being unable to finish a story is bad,and frustrating, and I really hate it.
So I've been trying to understand what's happening to me.
Iblame a few bumps on the road, of course: losing all my stuff, sure, but also the accident last August, my hospitalization and what came after that.
Plus, and it really hurst to say this, the fact that my life's good right now: a job I like, a girlfriend that's absolutely perfect, a nice apartment.
Hell, I don't even fight with my mother anymore.
I've slowed down on a lot of the reckless stuff I used to do, and in the evenings we just stay in and have a little fun and then get a good night sleep.
It's been ages since we last went to a party, and we feel fine like that.
But the fact is that my reckless part was what pushed my stories in the first place.
That, plus the anger, the uncertainty, the frustration.
The chemicals? Those too.
We talked it out with my partner two nights ago, and she's seen the signs, too, and she's not feeling good about all of this, too.
We are getting into a very staid "married couple" mode.
And while we both agree that getting married would be a smash justto see the shocked faces of the people out there, we do not want to slip into middle-age dull.
It was weird finding out that we have both been feeling trapped into this sort of quiet happiness, and that we both have this feeling that something is missing.
We had a very long talk, and it was all very adult and very moving, but in the end we both decided that "adult" is not what we are looking for in each other.
Not always, not 24/7.
Bottom line: we are working on it, and for starters I had a hell of a row with my mother on Sunday. For something extremely futile and stupid.
Goddess it felt wonderful!
"What now?" I said.
And my girlfriend said, "You explain it to your readers, and then get back to writing naughty stories."
And that's what I did.
So, I am getting back on track.
Next step, finish a fucking story and post it.
Soon.
Maybe your quality control is higher than it was when you were acting more impulsively, that might be a factor too?
ReplyDeleteI've spoken with a lot of writers in the last few years and so many of them have gone through similar struggles with their writing. Keep at it and don't fret too much about having unfinished stories. I imagine that there's lots of material in those story fragments that you might find useful in future stories. However you get through this period of struggle, you'll be the stronger writer for it on the other end.
ReplyDeleteI imagine stuff like this comes in ebbs and flows and is just something you have to kind of push through from time to time. I wouldn't worry about unfinished stuff as like Varian said maybe there is something there you can use or fuse with in a different story later.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you're back at it though and looking forward to whatever your devious mind comes up with!
I'm with you, and will wait as long as it takes.
ReplyDeleteAn awful lot of procrastinating and no much action, You seem to have lost quite a bit of traction and possibly a lot of fans that you've built up over time Erotica fans are a fickle bunch, I can't help thinking that maybe lack of success over The Raven hasn't helped the situation and possibly knocked your confidence a t bit, I think you need to get back on the horse again and post a story, Even if its just a rough and ready quickie just to get things moving again but don't put yourself under any pressure and just try and enjoy yourself and your writing
ReplyDeleteThank you guys for your support!
ReplyDeleteI agree I've been away too long, I've been over-ambitious and generally stupid.
But now I'm back on track, and I'll tell you about it presently.
Later!